Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
