So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
