I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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