i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Randomize
