At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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