ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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