actually, I'm a sock model
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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