i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Fuck appropriateness.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
