guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
