nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
