when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
