i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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