Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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