Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
