Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
