Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
