Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
