u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
