Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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