and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
