So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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