tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So squirting runs in the family.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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