This is not my ceiling
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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