i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
