my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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