He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
