Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Non-Jews are for practice
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
