giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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