If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
