If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
