You work out of a Hotel?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
