How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
