yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
