and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We just shotgunned beers for America
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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