Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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