Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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