Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
