so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
