We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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