hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
