we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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