Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
