Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
