i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
