This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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