when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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