We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
