I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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