Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
