Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
