you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
