i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
