Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
