I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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